The Vanishing Half

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett

(Format used for this read: Print–Hardback)

*Sigh*

I’m starting off this review with a sigh because that is just my whole entire mood most days.

I know I’ve mentioned a few times in recent reviews that I have not been reading as much as I did pre-pandemic times.

And that is still so very true.

I see sooooo many of my fellow bookworm friends just PLOWING thru pages during the past 6 months….and I just look at them with astonishment.

For many, this pandemic has meant all this free time…trying to fill countless hours at home with a hobby or activity.

In all actuality, it seems like an avid reader’s DREAM.

But for me…it has not been that way IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT.

While we are obviously at home WAY more now, my time alone has sunken down to ZERO….and since we are all here way more than we used to be, it also means I have LOTS more to do around here…

The house gets dirtier faster which means I’m cleaning and straightening alot more (because I am a neat freak and clutter is a trigger for my anxiety)….

we go thru food faster since we aren’t eating out as much which means I’m cooking meals, menu planning, preparing snacks and getting groceries alot more (because we all eat A LOT)…

both my kids are doing virtual schooling which means I am acting as learning supervisor and tutor most of the day (which none of us really enjoy at the moment)….

We keep trying to find this new “rhythm” to our days and just can’t seem to figure it out…each day is a chaotic mess of imbalance.

I used to listen to audiobooks throughout my entire day as I ran errands or drove from place to place during the day…that is obviously happening WAY less.

I used to listen to audiobooks also when I was doing all the cleaning or laundry or cooking or whatever house task….and while I am doing those things even MORE now than I was before, I have to constantly pause my book, take off my headphones, and engage in a conversation with a child asking me a question… or be a referee in a fight that the boys are engaged in for the millionth time that day.

I haven’t been running at all lately either which is where I would get in ALL KINDS of audiobook “reading” time…

In the evenings before bed is when I would get lots of time to read my books in print….and now by the time I finally get there, I read for 5 minutes and then fall asleep because my physical body and my emotional brain is DONE and just ready to escape into slumber.

So.

My reviews are not happening on the regular like they used to because my reading is STILL not happening like it used to.

And I don’t know when or how that will change.

While I am very grateful that we have the ability and the privilege of me being able to be home and manage all these things while my husband continues to work, I still have an inner selfish struggle of frustration in not being able to indulge in books as often as I used to.

Books have always been an escape for me my whole life….even when I was a kid I used the pages to escape from feeling left out, bullied, misunderstood and even to deal with various traumas…..as an adult I have escaped into pages to get a break from parenting or to find joy amidst dark times….I love getting lost in stories and just forgetting my own reality for awhile when I read fiction.

I also love learning and growing from nonfiction books, pushing myself to challenge my biases and shine light on my ignorance so I can know better and then do better.

Reading really is one of the ways I take care of my mental health.

And I haven’t been able to manage it very well.

I know my frustration with not being able to read as much is TOTALLY a TEENSY MINOR MININSCULE thing in the grand scheme of life these days….so many people have MUCH more serious frustrations and disappointments they are struggling with and thru every single day. It breaks my heart to think of how many people I know that have lost their jobs, lost family members, have had to figure out ways to manage work and finances and childcare and safety while COVID19 rages thru the country.

I acknowledge how absolutely ridiculous and trivial my frustration sounds.

I 100 percent see it for the shallow BS that it is….I see myself typing these words and I’m like “OMGeeee Dani….are you FOR REAL right now with your whining?!?” 🤢

Silly as it may be….I am being honest and telling yall this is one of my struggles these days.

So anyway…..you *still* will not be seeing as many reviews on here as you are used to seeing.

I hope that eventually changes….but for now, it isn’t.

Now you know what is up.

And my slogan for 2020 is perfect to add in right about now:

It is what it is.

Just wanted to fill yall on why you aren’t seeing as much lately….but ENOUGH ABOUT THAT…. yall aren’t here for my insignificant musings on life….

You’re here to READ MY REVIEW.

Let’s get at it!

Here is the official summary of my latest read:

“From The New York Times-bestselling author of The Mothers, a stunning new novel about twin sisters, inseparable as children, who ultimately choose to live in two very different worlds, one black and one white.

The Vignes twin sisters will always be identical. But after growing up together in a small, southern black community and running away at age sixteen, it’s not just the shape of their daily lives that is different as adults, it’s everything: their families, their communities, their racial identities. Many years later, one sister lives with her black daughter in the same southern town she once tried to escape. The other secretly passes for white, and her white husband knows nothing of her past. Still, even separated by so many miles and just as many lies, the fates of the twins remain intertwined. What will happen to the next generation, when their own daughters’ storylines intersect?

Weaving together multiple strands and generations of this family, from the Deep South to California, from the 1950s to the 1990s, Brit Bennett produces a story that is at once a riveting, emotional family story and a brilliant exploration of the American history of passing. Looking well beyond issues of race, The Vanishing Half considers the lasting influence of the past as it shapes a person’s decisions, desires, and expectations, and explores some of the multiple reasons and realms in which people sometimes feel pulled to live as something other than their origins.

As with her New York Times-bestselling debut The Mothers, Brit Bennett offers an engrossing page-turner about family and relationships that is immersive and provocative, compassionate and wise.”

I absolutely enjoyed this author SO MUCH. She writes in third person, with a kind of omnipresent voice, and it just ENVELOPES you into each character’s story.

The book does not just focus on the story of the two twin sisters, Stella and Desiree….it also tells the story of all the people they love as well.

I think the underlying theme of this book is IDENTITY and all the many layers that word contains.

How does society define and see our identity?

How do we define and see our identity?

What biological factors make us who we are?

What emotional factors make us who we are?

How does our identity change and grow as we get older?

Can we choose our own identity or is it chosen for us?

How do we discover what our TRUE and PERSONAL identity really is?

None of these questions are answered simply in this book nor are they all addressed the same for each character.

I read an interview with the author from NPR and it was said that this book “explores whether it’s possible to erase the past, in the name of a better future.”

Each character digs deep into that concept in various ways….and also the question of “what does ‘better’ really even mean??”

Stella tries to change her identity by changing her race…..by “passing” as white she enters into an entirely different world than the one she knew before. By doing so, she thinks her life will be easier, more enjoyable….and in some material ways it becomes so.

But in creating a new self, she has to lose all connections to her original self…her family, her history, her culture. She always has to “readjust” her whiteness as the years go on….and she does so much of this she is constantly questioning who she really is and who she just created herself to be…and also if it was really even worth it at all.

Her twin sister Desiree defines her own identity thru her relationships. The abandonment of her twin sister, the escape from her abusive husband, the bonds with her daughter and mother. She sees who she is thru other people’s eyes…and tries to figure out if the person they see her to be is who she sees herself to be.

The questions of identity also play out for the twin’s daughters, but again…in very different ways.

Desiree’s daughter–Jude–falls in love with Reese, a trans man and they both peel back the complex layers of what makes them individuals and what makes them a couple. Together and on their own, they try to figure out how they define what gender is and what sexuality is. They grapple with the question “are labels really even needed at all or should love just be the answer itself?”

Stella’s daughter–Kennedy–tries to figure out what role she was meant to play in life….figuratively and literally. As an aspiring actress, she wonders if she enjoys the stage because it is an escape from who she really is or if it helps create who she wants to be.

The topic of race is also a big component in this book. Colorism, privilege, prejudice, and color blindness are addressed in many ways. You see these topics play out in the character’s relationships with each other, with their communities, with society at large, and within themselves.

I think that Ms Bennett did an outstanding job with this book….she tackled so many issues on such a deep and personal level. Even though she tells the stories of many characters, her writing is so fluid and natural that it all connects and flows together in a unique and special way.

While reading, there is definitely multi levels of anticipation and tension that constantly has you wanting to continue reading….most def one of those books where you’ll stay up past your bedtime saying “Just one more chapter…..”

Highly recommend this read and I am already looking up more of her work.