The Body Is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self Love by Sonya Renee Taylor
(Format used for this read: Audiobook)
I am going to come right out and tell yall straight up here that I have had issues with loving and accepting my body almost my entire life.
Those issues began when I was a prepubescent child, not even in double digit numbers for my age.
Those issues persisted thru my puberty years, grew thru my teen years, expanded deeper thru my young adult years, transformed thru my young mom years…..
And now here I am, just now beginning the journey into my midlife years….and alllllllll of those damn issues are STILL there.
There are MULTIPLE reasons for why I have body acceptance issues AND there are MULTIPLE effects of these in various areas of my life….
and yall…
I am JUST OVER THE WHOLE DAMN THING.
Like, I am fucking over it.
I am 40 years old and I am ready to own my mess and start healing for GOOD.
I am so ready to love my WHOLE AND FULL SELF.
The whole damn thing.
Every last centimeter of me…inside and outside and everything in between.
I have touched on this very thing in past reviews too…and I am still in the baby stages of moving forward….and DANG there is so much to unpack and unravel and dismantle and rebuild.
But I am trying so hard.
And this book was a FANTASTIC read to absorb on this journey.
Here is the summary:
“A global movement guided by love.
Humans are a varied and divergent bunch with all manner of beliefs, morals, and bodies. Systems of oppression thrive off our inability to make peace with difference and injure the relationship we have with our own bodies.
The Body Is Not an Apology offers radical self-love as the balm to heal the wounds inflicted by these violent systems. World-renowned activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor invites us to reconnect with the radical origins of our minds and bodies and celebrate our collective, enduring strength. As we awaken to our own indoctrinated body shame, we feel inspired to awaken others and to interrupt the systems that perpetuate body shame and oppression against all bodies. When we act from this truth on a global scale, we usher in the transformative opportunity of radical self-love, which is the opportunity for a more just, equitable, and compassionate world – for us all.”
I listened to this on audio–which was great because it was narrated by the author–BUT I really think this book is one to have in print.
There is SO much I wanted to underline, highlight, and dog ear!
Plus she has many reflection questions/sections in each chapter to serve as a guided journal entry for your personal progression.
(I actually am ordering a print version so I can re-read it and do all those things)
When listening to an audiobook, I try to pause sometimes and take notes on my phone BUT since I usually am listening while doing a task (like cleaning or driving or laundry) it doesn’t always work very well.
There was soooo much wisdom in this book….not just how to develop your own radical self love, but also how to help others develop theirs….AND to make yourself aware of how you currently or have in the past hindered or harmed self love journeys for yourself and others.
She discusses the many ways our society and it’s “norms” (whether it be related to size, race, gender, or sexuality) can negatively impact our own self love…and how we can change those systems and narratives in ourselves and around ourselves.
This book is more than just teaching you how to have self acceptance or self confidence or self esteem…it goes BEYOND that into something much deeper.
Radical self love is bigger and more powerful and completely transformative.
Obviously, you won’t just read this book and go instantly from a place of “I am so uncomfortable in my body” to a place of “My body is the most amazing thing EVER and I will never wear clothes again so I can show the entire world!”….
There is no one singular book that is capable of doing that!
(I mean…I don’t *think* there is….if yall happen to know of some magical one that DOES, yall best send me the Amazon link ASAP 😆)
This book IS a beautiful tool to use along the path of your self love development journey.
I will share some of the notes I took on my phone while listening to this book….there was so much to process and take away from every single section and chapter….many of these thoughts and quotes are random, but I feel will give you such a profound view into the spirit of the book.
-Sonya discussed that her mother’s postpartum belly was not something she was ashamed of and did not hide. Her mother viewed it as a gift.
“Her belly was an altar of flesh, built in remembrance of us, by us.”
-“Radical self love is not a destination you are trying to get to. It’s who you already are.”
-“Our relationships with our own bodies informs our relationships with others….Body shame makes us view bodies in narrow terms such as good or bad or better or worse.”
-“Freeing ourselves from the need to understand everything can bring us an enormous amount of peace.”
-“Many of us have oriented our entire lives under an effort to be ‘normal’, never realizing that normal is not a stationary goal.”
-Relationships with our bodies are political, social, cultural and relational inheritances
-Body shame fuels our toxic consumerism
-“YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! Look at them with gentle kindness and release them”
-Systems do not uphold themselves—we are all active or passive in upholding/dismantling them
-“The luxury of not having to think of one’s own body always comes at the expense of another body”
-“How we speak about our bodies impacts how we experience our bodies”
-“If you’re at war with your body, how will you ever have peace?”
I know these are HELLA scattered and I want to just tell you ALL THE THINGS about each one…but that would take six hundred forevers.
I also want you to get this book for yourselves so you can have your own transformative process while you read.
If you have ever struggled with self love in any shape or form related to your own body, this will be a book you will treasure in your journey of healthy transformation.
I really think this book is more of a “workbook” type of book that you should actively process thru then a book you just read in a purely passive or “just for entertainment” way.
Two sections of the book that REALLY are helpful for me are her 4 Pillars Of Practice and her 10 Rules for Radical Self Love.
I am going to share them with you here BUT I am not going to explain ANY of them 😁
I want you to see them…be intrigued by them….think “Hey, I’d really like to know more about how to do that”….and then go by the book so you CAN read the detailed wisdom associated with each of them.
Her 4 Pillars of Practice (which are the thinking/feeling/doing of self love):
- Taking Out The Toxic
- Mind Matters
- Unapologetic Action
- Collective compassion
These 4 Pillars break down further into her 10 Rules for Radical Self Love (#2 and #4 are two I’m realllllly digging into right now)
- Dump The Junk
- Curb body bad mouthing
- Reframe your framework
- Meditate on a mantra
- Banish the binary
- Explore your terrain
- Be in movement
- Make a new story
- Be in community
- Give yourself some grace
Like I mentioned above, this book is not just for you to have radical self love for yourself….but ALSO how to have radical love for others too.
I think this is a damn awesome book, yall.
I needed it in my life a bagillion years ago….but I am so glad I found it now.
Also, check out this website:
https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/
The movement and organization she has created is phenomenally powerful.