Spare by Prince Harry
It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
For Harry, this is that story at last.
Before losing his mother, twelve-year-old Prince Harry was known as the carefree one, the happy-go-lucky Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything. He struggled at school, struggled with anger, with loneliness—and, because he blamed the press for his mother’s death, he struggled to accept life in the spotlight.
At twenty-one, he joined the British Army. The discipline gave him structure, and two combat tours made him a hero at home. But he soon felt more lost than ever, suffering from post-traumatic stress and prone to crippling panic attacks. Above all, he couldn’t find true love.
Then he met Meghan. The world was swept away by the couple’s cinematic romance and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. Over the centuries, leaving the Royal Family was an act few had dared. The last to try, in fact, had been his mother. . . .
For the first time, Prince Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty. A landmark publication, Spare is full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief.
(Format used for this read: Audiobook)
Even though I grew up in a middle class American suburb in South Louisiana, I knew ALL ABOUT the royal family from a very young age.
My mom was just obsessed with them–and I think probably still is.
Mostly, she was enamored with Princess Diana, like MOST of the world was.
She had endless magazines and books about her, and I remember her talking frequently about all the amazing things she did for others, her fashionable style, and how much she pitied her because of how awful the royal family treated her.
I remember the day of Princess Diana’s death still so clearly.
I was a teenager, coming home from a night out with friends. When I got out of my friend’s car in our driveway, I noticed my mom and her boyfriend sitting in his car, radio on, and my mom was SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY.
I freaked out and my heart sank to my feet…I had lots of trauma in my childhood and my immediate thoughts were “Oh my god, who has died now?”
I rushed over the passenger side door where my mom was sitting, frantically asking her what was wrong and if she was okay.
Thru her face of tears, she sobbed “Princess Di is DEAD. They chased her down and now she is gone.”
Not only was she sobbing for the loss of a precious human life, but as a mother, she couldn’t stop thinking about her young sons. 💔
I remember when we saw footage of the funeral, and we watched them stoically walk behind her casket, both of us feeling such extreme sympathy for how controlled they were forced to be when their entire world just cracked apart.
We had no idea the severity of it all.
Prince William is only two years younger than me and Prince Harry four years….so my mom always joked of a possible royal wedding for me. Slim, almost non existent chances? Absolutely. But fun to dream about.
I mean, who WOULDN’T want to be royalty? (after hearing Harry’s own story, I can emphatically now say LOTS of people wouldn’t….including me!)
As the boys got older, I remember following them thru various magazines, watching them grow older. this was before social media and websites and all the things yall, so various teeny bopper publications like YM and TeenBeat were my go to for all the celebrity sightings and info, as well as my moms very distinguished People and National Inquirer 🤣🤣🤣
I remember watching as the press created a narrative of the Heir and the Spare…of one boy being serious and one being silly…of one rule follower and one rebel.
Never once did I question the truth behind all the statements, and neither did my mom.
We felt like we KNEW them, yall.
We ate up every little bit of info given to us and bought into it…never once thinking how easy it is to spin false realities just by a picture and a sentence…never once thinking how awful it would be to never just live your life without constant scrutiny and judgement.
I feel quite sad about that now, because we were part of the exact reason paparazzi went to ridiculous and dangerous lengths to snap private photos of the royal family…our money went into their dirty pockets, time and time again every time we bought one of those magazines. UGH. I hate that so much.
I really applaud Harry for publishing this book and telling his own story in his own words.
His whole life he has had other people telling his story for him—the press, his family.
I am sure it was a relief to be able to tell HIS truths in the way HE wanted to tell it at the time when HE wanted to tell it.
Remember that line from the very 1st season of MTV’s The Real World where they say “You think you know, but you have NO IDEA”?
That is what I thought of while listening to this.
His mother would be so very proud of his honesty in these pages…his realness, his openness, his vulnerability. He shares about his mental health struggles, his journey with therapy, his war traumas, his painful tensions with his own family members.
He isn’t looking for pity or for someone to say “Oh poor little rich Prince”…he just wants to lay everything out on the table, EXACTLY how it is…because he has been restrained from doing so for his entire life.
I was disgusted to hear all the details about how horrible his family was to his wife Megan….I knew a bit about it already from watching their Oprah interview and their documentary on Netflix.
But to hear all the racism and exclusion and terrible things she had to (and continues to) endure not just from random strangers but from her OWN FRIGGIN’ FAMILY she married into was just absolutely gross.
Harry speaks of her and their children with SUCH warmness and love, it was magical to hear about…and again, his mother would be SO PROUD.
Harry isn’t afraid to fight for change or stand up for what he believes is right….and also to admit when he fucked up. I appreciated his candor exposing his own wrong doings as well…he owned up to them, never made excuses, and has done plenty of course redirects.
I was very saddened to him speak about his broken relationship with his brother, “Willy” as he calls him.
I feel for them both, being born into all this “expectation”.
I feel like William, as the heir, just is so indoctrinated into his role that he can’t see past it all.
They have gone thru so much together, and nobody can truly understand their family more than each other….I hope that one day they will eventually have a true reconciliation again.
I really appreciated this read and am proud of Harry of speaking his truth and finding a way to LIVE his truth to protect his wife and children.
Definitely a must read, yall. Hear him out.