Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want To Come by Jessica Pan
(Format used for this read: Audiobook)
End of the month and this is only my 4th book review….
I’m still in my weird pandemic physical and emotional space of not reading as much as I used to.
No need for me to elaborate on that sad fact….because we all have WAY TOO MUCH HEAVINESS IN ALL THINGS right now.
2020 is a serious dumpster fire that just keeps getting more trash added to it by the day.
Even by the friggin HOUR most of the time.
But for this review I will not talk about ANY of the details that make this year the burning shit pile that it is.
For the next few minutes, I am just going to talk about this charming book I just read by the highly entertaining writer, Jessica Pan.
Escape with me for a minute.
This was my book club’s latest pick….and I liked it SO SO SO MUCH.
Here is the summary:
“Some people are great at talking to strangers, building new relationships, and making friends at parties. I’m really good at other things, like loitering palely in dark doorways. Disappearing into couch corners. Leaving early. Feigning sleep on public transportation.
What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perioous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
Chronicling the author’s hilarious and painful year of misadventures, this book explores what happens when one introvert fights her natural tendencies, takes the plunge, and tries (and sometimes fails) to be a little bit braver.”
This book was FASCINATING for me to listen to…and here is why.
I am a HUGE extrovert.
If there is such thing as a SUPER extrovert….that is ME allllll the way.
I get ALL my energy from being around people. I love meeting new people. I never get stage fright. I love being the center of attention. I love making new friends. I hate not having interaction with other people for extended periods of time. (can you see why this pandemic has been SO HARD ON ME? I NEED REAL LIFE SOCIALZING ON A REGULAR BASIS TO FEEL LIKE A FUNCTIONING HUMAN! Sorry…I said I wasn’t gonna do that…..)
Now…take the extreme opposite of everything I just listed up there…..
And that is who I am married to.
My husband…the love of my life, my soulmate, my forever partner…..is a HUGE introvert.
As extreme as I am in my extroverted-ness, he is just as extreme in his introverted-ness.
We legit are the prime example of the phrase “opposites attract”.
When we go to a party, I have a hard time going to bed when we get home because I am so amped up….my husband on the other hand is ready to crash as soon as we walk thru the door because his energy is all dried up.
Staying home all weekend just chilling and not doing much seems heavenly to him….while to me, it mostly sounds like boring torture.
He needs time alone to recharge and be his best self….I need time with other people to recharge and be my own best self.
I don’t get why we work….but we do 😊
Even though we have a happy and successful marriage, there are times when our extrovert/introvert dynamic can cause some BIG TIME misunderstandings.
It can be REALLLLLY hard for us to “get” the other person.
So I enjoyed listening to the author’s introvert perspective on things because it helped me see and understand things my husband has been trying to tell me FOR YEARS.
Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in how we experience the world that we forget it can be a completely different kind of thing for others.
I found Jessica to be very brave in challenging herself to step outside her comfort zones in her year of “extro-verting” as she described it. She wasn’t in this to turn herself into someone else or to downplay who she really is….she was just trying to make herself push her own boundaries and experience things she NEVER had tried to before.
She is honest, relatable, and also funny…her writing is very conversational and has a great flow.
Every time she talked about some extrovert trait she thought was so bizarre, I died laughing….she was talking EXACTLY ABOUT ME!!
For instance, in one chapter she was talking about how she just didn’t understand how extroverted people just randomly start conversations with strangers…and aren’t only COMFORTABLE doing it, but actually MAKE FRIENDS that way.
And I was cracking up because I TOTALLY DO THAT ALL THE TIME.
I have gone to countless workshops or retreats all by myself…and by the time I leave, I have exchanged numbers or emails or become Facebook friends with at least a couple new people I have made friendships with.
I have invited myself along to lunch with speakers or leaders I am learning from and admire (and sometimes their families LOL) so I can get to know them better.
I start up conversations in grocery stores, at baseball games, on airplanes and in post office lines.
My kids have asked me so many times “Mom, why do you talk to EVERYONE every single place we go?”
And my introverted husband—like the author—just does NOT GET THIS.
But I equally do not get how he DOESN’T do these things.
Hearing Jessica explain her thought process and feelings, I was able to empathize more with introverts. I thought I had done a good job of trying to understand my hubby most of the time…but reading this made me realize I DEFINITELY have some blind spots to work on!
And whether we want to admit it or not, our society is biased towards extroverts…Jessica explains how and why that is. ( ANOTHER THING my husband has been trying to tell me for YEARS…sorry honey! I promise I actually listen to you…)
But now I better see how completely unfair and what total BS this is.
It takes all of us in our beautiful unique selves to have a diverse and interesting world. Nobody should have to conform to any kind of “standard” to be happy or successful or thriving.
Man, if we were all alike this world would be HORRENDOUS. I can’t even imagine a world with ALL extroverts…it would be SO FRIGGIN LOUD all the time!
Also, not everyone is on the “extreme” end of either personality type….it’s a WIDE spectrum that allows for fluidity.
This is something else Jessica discovers over the course of her year. Sometimes we just convince ourselves we are one certain way as kind of an excuse to not push ourselves out of what we have always known and are comfortable with.
We also can use our determined personality type as an excuse to not change things about ourselves that can be toxic or harmful to ourselves or to others.
Sometimes we just have to try new things…do things that scare us….and push beyond our own self imposed boundaries to discover more of who we really are.
You gotta read this honest, precious and laugh out loud funny book to see how this plays out for Jessica.
Totally loved this one.
AND…I think this would be a super interesting experiment for an EXTROVERT to do but in reverse….try to live more “introvert” like for a year.
I’d ABSOLUTELY read that book…but I do NOT wanna be the one to write it 🤣