Over The Top by Jonathan Van Ness
(Format used for this read: Audiobook)
The show “Queer Eye” on Netflix is one I just absolutely friggin’ LOOOOVE.
It makes me cry, it makes me laugh, it makes me want to dress and cook and decorate better, it makes me believe in humanity again, and it is just SUCH a positive, warm fuzzy uplifting show that tugs at my heartstrings EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The main reason for all that is the wonderful (and extremely beautiful!) people who compose the cast….the Fab Five…and my most FAVORITE is Jonathan.
(although I do think Tan has THE BEST AND MOST AMAZING HAIR IN THE ENTIRE WORLD…sorry guys! 😬)
JVN (as he is known by his fans) is completely over the top EXTRA (which I am ALWAYS drawn to like a moth to a flame, yall…probably because I err on the side of being up in my own extraness on the reg 🤣) and he is HYSTERICAL…
But what really draws me to him is that he just seems so comfortably HIMSELF.
ALL THE TIME.
Like unapologetically, fully and completely just totally WHO HE IS.
(And right now as I was typing, I started second guessing using the pronoun “he” when talking about Jonathan, who identifies as gender non-binary. I know that I have heard both terms “he” and “she” used by Jonathan for self identifying at different times. So to be sure I was honoring his identity, I did a little Google search to make sure I was writing with the respectful verbiage deserved. Among the various things I read, this short little interview with him was helpful for me in understanding. If you also want to take a peek at it for your own knowledge base, here it is:
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/reports/a30053865/jonathan-van-ness-pronouns/
JVN says he is fine with using “he”, “she” or “they” pronouns, so I will just continue to use “he/him” for simplicity in my writing as we move forward.
The reason I left this whole mid review research journey moment in here instead of just forging ahead without explanation is because I want yall to understand how super important it is that we all make sure we respect and honor another human being’s lovely personhood…it literally takes just minutes to do that. Use your Google, yall…it ain’t that hard. The world is at your fingertips)
OMGeeee…
This is the LONGEST intro to a review EVEERRRRR so without any further ado…here is the official summary of this book:
“A laugh-and-cry-out-loud memoir from the beloved star of Netflix’s Queer Eye, Jonathan Van Ness, sharing never-before-told, deeply personal stories of growing up gay, transforming pain into positivity, and embracing what makes you gorgeously different.
Who gave Jonathan Van Ness permission to be the radiant human he is today? No one, honey.
The truth is, it hasn’t always been gorgeous for this beacon of positivity and joy.
Before he stole our hearts as the grooming and self-care expert on Netflix’s hit show Queer Eye, Jonathan was growing up in a small Midwestern town that didn’t understand why he was so…over the top. From choreographed carpet figure-skating routines to the unavoidable fact that he was Just. So. Gay., Jonathan was an easy target and endured years of judgement, ridicule, and trauma – yet none of it crushed his uniquely effervescent spirit.
Over the Top uncovers the pain and passion it took to end up becoming the model of self-love and acceptance that Jonathan is today. In this revelatory, raw, and rambunctious memoir, Jonathan shares never-before-told secrets and reveals sides of himself that the public has never seen. JVN fans may think they know the man behind the stiletto heels, the crop tops, and the iconic sayings, but there’s much more to him than meets the queer eye.
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll come away knowing that no matter how broken or lost you may be, you’re a Kelly Clarkson song, you’re strong, and you’ve got this.”
Yall know my most favorite autobiography I have read/listened to in the past couple years has been the phenomenal book “Becoming” by the lovely Michelle Obama…she is just SO FREAKING AMAZING.
BUT…
I think that book may squeak on down to my second fave autobiography because this one was JUST SO FABULOUS AND GREAT. (I still absolutely love and adore you times a million Michelle)
I listened to this book in ONE DAY yall….
I popped on my beloved StarLord headphones (yall can see a pic of THOSE lovelies on my Insta…which only has like 10 things on it because I TOTALLY SUCK at Instagram and my middle aged self is totally stuck in the Facebook social media skill level 🤣) , lightly ignored my boys, and didn’t take them off until the credits were vivaciously spoken.
I LOOOOOOOOVE that JVN read the audiobook himself because it had the whole vibe of just listening to a friend talk about their life story over coffee or wine…or in my case while I was deep cleaning my house and cooking dinner 🤣
He vulnerably talks about some real dark life moments that I wasn’t aware he went thru…addiction, abuse, bullying, health issues, death of loved ones to name a few…
But there is PLENTY of that Jonathan trademark hilarity mixed in as well, honey.
The way he can turn every life situation, big or small, into a figure skating metaphor just SLAYED ME DEAD yall!
And right before he starts opening up about an especially rough patch in his life, he throws in an essay he wrote in the 6th grade (FOR FUN, not for a grade!🤣 ) about the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal.
His journey of finally accepting himself….his full, entire, light and dark self…is one that has been filled with many trials, tribulations, and struggles but also with many blessings, support, laughs and triumphs as well.
It really was so inspiring to hear his story, as cliched as that might sound.
He has worked his ass off to get where he is now and overcome some big hurdles to get there.
You honestly can not help but love him so much.
He wrote this book not just to tell everyone how he got to be who he is today, but also to help others learn how to discover and love their own selves thru their own life journey.
“Imperfection is beautiful. To anyone who has ever felt broken beyond repair, this is for you. If you’ve ever been excluded, or told you were not enough, know that you are enough, and beautifully complete.”
“We are all a beautiful jumble of layers, parts, and mixtures of experiences, but my most important part, and in my opinion everyone’s most valuable part, is the one that chooses self-love instead of self-harm in the grand sweeping ways but also the little ways every single day. Learning to parent yourself, with soothing compassionate love, forgiving yourself, and learning from all the decisions you made to get you to where you are – that’s the key to being fulfilled. Learning to be the dream parent cheerleader to yourself. It’s been in you the whole time. And no matter how down you get, you can always make a gorgeous recovery.”
What gorgeous words.
And also….
While OBVIOUSLY there are plenty of things JVN and I do not have in common, there were quite a few things that we DO (besides people using the word “loud” and “a bit much” to describe us)….
We both are cat people down to our core, we both struggle with body image and food/weight issues, we were both bullied for our appearance in our younger years, AND we both sang the Celine Dion song “Because You Loved Me” at our mom’s wedding to our stepdads.
So of course I now feel like I should be besties with him FOR REAL.🤣
Completely ADORED this book, yall.
If you are a JVN fan already, you MUST go read this….
And if you are not, please go watch “Queer Eye” and fall in love with him (with ALL of them actually!) and also go read this book.
You will thank me later….TRUST.