None Of The Above by I. W. Gregorio
(Format used for this book: Audiobook)
I do not know how this audiobook found it’s way to my listening list, but I am really truly glad it did.
I admit full force 10000 percent that I have TONS of ignorance in so so so so many ways regarding the LGBTQIA+ community.
The more I learn, the more I realize I do not know.
And also the more I learn, the more I also realize that I carry with me quite a few horribly inaccurate and damaging stereotypes and biases which I gotta bust down and blow up to eleventy billion pieces.
This book tells the story of a teenage girl who abruptly discovers that she is intersex.
My ignorance even regarding the definition of the word intersex was staggering before reading this story…I didn’t even know the I in LGBTQIA+ stands for intersex. 🤦♀️
I have SO MUCH learning to do…but I am committed to continuing my education and growing my empathy.
Here is the official summary of this read:
“A groundbreaking story about a teenage girl who discovers she’s intersex…and what happens when her secret is revealed to the entire school. Incredibly compelling and sensitively told, None of the Above is a thought-provoking novel that explores what it means to be a boy, a girl, or something in between.
What if everything you knew about yourself changed in an instant?
When Kristin Lattimer is voted homecoming queen, it seems like another piece of her ideal life has fallen into place. She’s a champion hurdler with a full scholarship to college, and she’s madly in love with her boyfriend. In fact she’s decided that she’s ready to take things to the next level with him.
But Kristin’s first time isn’t the perfect moment she’s planned – something is very wrong. A visit to the doctor reveals the truth: Kristin is intersex, which means that though she outwardly looks like a girl, she has male chromosomes, not to mention boy “parts”.
Dealing with her body is difficult enough, but when her diagnosis is leaked to the whole school, Kristin’s entire identity is thrown into question. As her world unravels, can she come to terms with her new self?”
The author of this book is also a practicing physician who specializes in urology. She based this story on an intersex teen patient of hers that she treated during her med school residency.
Now….the author herself is NOT intersex and OBVIOUSLY can not PERSONALLY speak into the true life experience of a person who is. And I always feel some kind of way when people write about marginalized communities they are not a part of…and then make money off of it. That is hella problematic to me just like it is when a white author writes a book from the perspective of a BIPOC.
This was my only big issue with this read.
But, in spite of that, I do feel she did extensive research in her writing and tells the story sensitively, delicately, and powerfully in a way that breaks down ignorance, biases, stereotypes and educates in a very real and human way.
The authors website actually has amazing resources about being intersex which I found to be extremely helpful and informative. This is taken from her website:
What intersex is not:
- It does not (usually) mean that a person is transgender
- It does not (usually) mean that a person has both a penis and a vagina
- It is not a choice. People are born intersex.
What intersex is:
- A biological condition in which people are born with bodies that don’t fit neatly into our understanding of what is male or female, whether it be because of their chromosomal sex, or because of their internal or external genitalia.
- In my mind, it’s proof that gender is not binary, but a spectrum.
I highly recommend going to this link to learn more:
http://www.iwgregorio.com/about-intersex/
This difference between the definition of “sex” and “gender” is explored in this book quite extensively thru the conversation of the characters.
One is physical and one is mental…and there are SOOO many possibilities for both!
Our society tells us that there are only two possibilities for each…which is RIDICULOUS. Where does that leave so so so so many other human beings????
The main character discovers she has Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, which is just one type of biological variation of the “intersex” category. The author provides great insight and info on this, as well as has real life celebrities and athletes mentioned in the story who have AIS.
Gender roles in society and gender as a social construct is dissected as well from many angles…and that really had my brain whirring. What we see as “normal” is what society TELLS US is “normal”.
That is JACKED WAAAAY THE EFF UP.
One of Kristen’s friends tells her “The biggest difference between boys and girls is how people treat them.”
And OMG.
That REALLY sat with me.
So So So much hard truth in that sentence.
What have I as a female bought into with how girls are “supposed” to look and act? And what have I as a mother of male children bought into with how boys are “supposed” to look and act?
And what damage have I caused doing this?
Definitely a lot to chew on and deeply marinate with.
I really appreciated the author includes real life support groups and organizations for people who are part of the intersex community. She also finds ways to stress the importance of counseling and mental health professionals when going thru a big life discovery or life change, which I find especially wonderful since this book is written for teen audiences. Anytime an author recognizes the importance of caring for mental health I am so so so glad.
This story was not a perfect book….BUT it truly did challenge me and educate me and also grew my compassion and empathy.
Which are ALWAYS important things to take away from a read.
I will say the book DOES have a nice and neat heartwarming ending…but I did not find it to be too cheesy or too unrealistic.
Definitely recommend this book…and even if you do not choose to read it, I definitely recommend checking out her website’s sources regardless.
Know better. Do better.
We can all strive for that.