Memoirs of an Ex Prom Queen by Alix Kates Shulman
(Format used for this read: Print–paperback)
Sasha Davis has everything a girl in 1950s suburbia could want: beauty, wit, and a steady boyfriend on the basketball team. All she needs to succeed is to keep her skin clear and her intelligence hidden under her prom queen tiara. But when she drops out of school to marry, Sasha soon realizes her life has become a fearful countdown to her thirtieth birthday–the date when her youth will be over, her beauty will begin to fade, and life as she knows it will end. As Sasha rebels against her fate, she finds herself experiencing an intellectual and sexual awakening that might be her only chance of outrunning her supposed adolescence. First published in 1972, Alix Kates Shulman’s landmark novel follows Sasha’s coming-of-age through the sexual double standards, job discrimination, and harassment of the 1950s and 60s. Five decades later, Memoirs of an Ex Prom Queen remains a funny and heartbreaking story of a young woman in a man’s world.
“Funny and heartbreaking”….
isn’t that just the way of womanhood in all seasons and all decades????
This was a GOOD READ, yall. It wasn’t very long, it read easily….and DANG it carried some WEIGHT.
Even though it came out in the early 70s, so much of what the main character has to deal with is still SO FRIGGIN’ VALID TODAY.
The unrealistic expectations placed upon women as a gender hasn’t changed as much as it should have in FIFTY DAMN YEARS.
WTF.
Ya know why this is?
Because patriarchy is a tricky MFer that latches onto society like a blood sucking leech.
Things in this story that are still relevant today:
Females are expected to control their sexual urges, while males are expected to “sow their oats.”
Females are expected to be “nice and demure”, while we tell males “boys will be boys” to excuse all kinds of degrading and disgusting behavior.
Females are expected to get educated, work, raise children, balance a household, carry the weight of the world on her shoulders… AND look attractive and unaging while doing so.
Males in charge of laws get to make the rules surrounding women’s bodies and the decisions they make in regards to them.
Women are expected to feel “fulfilled” exclusively inside their home by being a wife and/or mother while men are expected to feel “fulfilled” by what work they do outside the home.
The whole time I was reading this book I was reminded of the monologue America Ferrera has in the recent Barbie movie, which warrants repeating in case you haven’t seen it:
“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.
You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.
You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.
But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.
You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.
I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.”
YALL.
Why am I reading a book from FIFTY EFFING YEARS ago that has shit that *still* hasn’t been fixed or resolved for women????
GAAAHHHHHHHHHH.
RI-FUCKING-DICULOUS.
The thing is….us women can be just as bad of perpetuators of patriarchal nonsense as men can be.
That’s how sneaky and awful it is.
This was a groundbreaking novel when it came out for addressing things that were seen as “taboo” to talk about: abortion, sexual harrassment, depression, relational rape, to name a few.
All these heavy and ENRAGING things were DEFINITELY a major part of this story…
But so was HUMOR.
A lot of it dark, sarcastic type of humor which I absolutely love.
There is plenty of wit AND wisdom in these pages, and I definitely see why it was so poignant at the time of it’s release as well as now.
I read a Vanity Fair interview the author did when the book was rereleased in 2019 that I found interesting:
People of all genders: Read this book.
And also….
smash the patriarchy.
BIG.