Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up by Selma Blair
The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. With her mouth pulled in a perpetual snarl and a head so furry it had to be rubbed to make way for her forehead, Selma spent years living up to her terrible reputation: biting her sisters, lying spontaneously, getting drunk from Passover wine at the age of seven, and behaving dramatically so that she would be the center of attention.
Although Selma went on to become a celebrated Hollywood actress and model, she could never quite shake the periods of darkness that overtook her, the certainty that there was a great mystery at the heart of her life. She often felt like her arms might be on fire, a sensation not unlike electric shocks, and she secretly drank to escape.
Over the course of this beautiful and, at times, devasting memoir, Selma lays bare her addiction to alcohol, her devotion to her brilliant and complicated mother, and the moments she flirted with death. There is brutal violence, passionate love, true friendship, the gift of motherhood, and, finally, the surprising salvation of a multiple sclerosis diagnosis.
In a voice that is powerfully original, fiercely intelligent, and full of hard-won wisdom, Selma Blair’s Mean Baby is a deeply human memoir and a true literary achievement.
I didn’t know much about Selma Blair a few days ago.
What I did know about her before reading this was that I watched her play Cecile in “Cruel Intentions” and Vivian in “Legally Blonde” many many times in the late 90s and my early college years. (and thought she was damn entertaining and quite a master of her roles)
I vaguely knew that a few years ago she was diagnosed with MS and that she has done a lot of amazing advocacy work since then…which I thought was pretty fantastic.
I thought she was a GREAT actress, but I was not a huge super fan/follower of hers or anything.
But that has CHANGED since reading this book, my friends.
I am now officially a BIG GIANT fan of Selma Blair…not just the actress, but the HUMAN.
She is such a unique, fascinating, honest and real person…and listening to her memoir was captivating and so so emotional.
(I want to call her brave but I will refrain from doing so because I think that would irritate her to NO FUCKING END…but I am thinking it in my head anyways)
She speaks so much about her mother and her childhood throughout the whole book…..their relationship was multilayered and complicated.
It was one filled with adoration and also frustration, admiration and also irritation, nuturing and also neglect, coldness as well as warmth.
WHEWWW…I could TOTES relate to some of that FOR REALS…I am sure there are many of you out there who will also feel the same.
Selma doesn’t just open up about her mother with raw, vulnerable and honest emotions…she talks about every single aspect of her life in the same open manner.
Her siblings, her father, her friends, her addiction, her fuck ups, her successes, her career, her romances, her break ups, her devastations, her accomplishments, her physical pain…ALL OF IT.
She shares many of her own journal entries as well as pieces of writing she has completed over her life thus far, weaving in longer explanations or elaborations on stories as needed.
She shares traumas and mistakes and painful memories…some of which is very tough to hear.
But she also shares so much joy and healing and amazing life giving moments.
She shares beauty and pain, tragedy and triumph…and she does it so very well. She is an exquisitely gifted and talented writer and storyteller.
Her words are such a reflection on what life as a whole IS…
Messy and wonderful and hard and humorous.
A gigantic jumble of twists and turns that break us and make us in the very best and the very worst ways possible.
There were MANY times she audibly was emotionally shaken and you could hear her crying as she was reading her own words….that SO got to me.
I am a HUUUUGE crier and feel things SO VERY BIG.
Every time she choked up, I did too. 😢
My heart was touched time and time again as I read….and her letter to her son at the end spoke to my mama heart DEEP and WRECKED ME from the DEPTHS, yall.😭
I think Selma Blair is such a strong and tremendous person…not because of what she has done or not done…but just because she owns it all.
Good, bad, ugly and beautiful.
I appreciate her willingness to be real about all parts of her life journey thus far. 💗