I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.
In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.
Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
I had NO IDEA who Jennette McCurdy was, but when I heard about this memoir on NPR (or on Glennon’s podcast…I can’t remember…those are usually the two places I most often get LOTS of my book recs…) I was super intrigued.
I mean…the title ALONE had me wanting to read this book.
But then I googled her name and recognized her face instantly.
I never watched any of the tween/teen Nickelodeon shows she starred on…I was already married and having babies, so I wasn’t exactly the target audience 🤣…but I remember her face from various E News segments and People snapshots. (I used to be OBSESSED with celebrity news back in the day, yall)
I love memoirs. Even ones that are very very heartbreaking to read and address abusive relationships directly head on, like this one.
I feel like everyone has a story to tell, everyone’s story is valuable and everyone’s story SHOULD be heard.
And when it is a very traumatic one like Jennette’s, I think telling of the story can be a big part of the healing process.
So many child stars have extremely horrible journeys in their acting careers…and Jennette is no different.
Her mother was a full on narcissist who tried to fulfill her own dreams of Hollywood thru her daughter…which is gross on many levels.
She was controlling, mentally imbalanced, and emotionally and physically abusive of Jennette, her siblings and her husband.
Her mother was always a victim…always a martyr.
(and OMG does THAT sentence sound all too familiar for me personally……)
But the whole phrase “you do the best you can with what you’ve got” sparked into my brain here….because Jennette’s grandmother–her mom’s mom–was equally as toxic as her mother. And Jennette lived with BOTH of them.
It is so so so sad to see how abuse and unaddressed mental health issues can have a generational domino affect….until someone somewhere along the ancestral line decides to change the narrative, stop the cycle, and face the issues head on with professional help (which is exactly what Jennette is doing…so BRAVO, girl 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏)
Jennette felt like she was the most connected person in the world to her mother when she was a child and that they were best friends. She learned early how to walk on eggshells daily and how to put her needs/wants aside to be a people pleaser…most specifically a mother pleaser.
Jennette shares her story with rawness and honesty…but also with sarcastic, dark humor. I can relate to this coping mechanism of trauma VERY WELL.
She shares not only about her relationship with her mother and how it scarred her… but also the layers of toxic religious ideaology she had growing up in the Mormon faith that also negatively affected her body image, self esteem, sexuality and how she navigated basic life.
Her OCD tendencies she thought for YEARS was the “Holy Ghost” instructing her 💔
I find honest memoirs like this to be very brave…I see how they could be a very cathartic way to bring healing to a person’s soul.
I hope Jennette finds some of that with the journey she is now on because of this book.
I watched this short interview she did on The Daily Show with Trevor Noah and really valued her deeper explanations of why/how she wrote this book:
She also is the narrator of this audiobook, which I believe is the VERY BEST way to “read” memoirs or autobiographies.
Hearing a person’s story in THEIR voice is a very unique and personal experience.
Definitely recommend this book, whether you know who Jennette McCurdy is or not.