Dirtbag, Massachusetts: A confessional by Isaac Fitzgerald
Isaac Fitzgerald has lived many lives. He’s been an altar boy, a bartender, a fat kid, a smuggler, a biker, a prince of New England. But before all that, he was a bomb that exploded his parents’ lives―or so he was told. In Dirtbag, Massachusetts, Fitzgerald, with warmth and humor, recounts his ongoing search for forgiveness, a more far-reaching vision of masculinity, and a more expansive definition of family and self.
Fitzgerald’s memoir-in-essays begins with a childhood that moves at breakneck speed from safety to violence, recounting an extraordinary pilgrimage through trauma to self-understanding and, ultimately, acceptance. From growing up in a Boston homeless shelter to bartending in San Francisco, from smuggling medical supplies into Burma to his lifelong struggle to make peace with his body, Fitzgerald strives to take control of his own story: one that aims to put aside anger, isolation, and entitlement to embrace the idea that one can be generous to oneself by being generous to others.
I reallllly wanted to like this book, yall.
I have heard lots of great reviews on it from many authors I enjoy and whose opinions I respect…which is how it ended up on my radar in the first place.
BUT…
I did NOT like this read OR get super engrossed in it.
I always feel bad when I say that about memoirs…it’s like I”m saying “Your life does not interest me.”
Which is a huge asshole move.
And I’m not really saying that….I *do* think everyone’s story is valuable and the vulnerability in honestly sharing all parts of it I really do respect.
Sharing your story isn’t really about making it entertaining or pleasing for other people to listen to…I get that.
And listen…..Isaac Fitzgerald IS a good writer–I will DEFINITELY give him that—I just wasn’t into hearing his story……and also his narrating skills are not so great.
I just wasn’t that interested in listening to him tell his story.🤦♀️
I found the summary and reviews way more interesting than the actual memoir.
This book isn’t TERRIBLE…but I feel like I kinda wasted my time 😑
Thankfully it wasn’t a very LONG listen, but I did still try to zoom thru it as fast as I could.
There are essays about things like his childhood and family experiences, his various stints in trying to figure himself out in young adulthood, his short stint of nonprofit work overseas, and his complicated feelings about Catholicism.
There is LOTS of writing about bars and drinking…the man REALLLLLY enjoys his alcohol…and I’m here for this usually 😆….but I just WASN’T feeling it with this book.
I DEFINITELY could have done without hearing his chapter on adventures in porn as a boarding school teen and then as an adult performer in San Francisco…although I will say there ARE some positive messages to be heard in those.
He does share a few good life lessons and important awareness on many other things like misogyny, white privilege, toxic masculinity, substance abuse and violence.
But again….
I just didn’t really like this book.
Maybe it’s his writing style…albeit he IS good with words, but maybe I’m just not his niche audience.
Maybe it was listening to it…he just does not have a good audiobook voice to keep me captivated.
Or maybe I’m just being an asshole today. IDK.
Whatever the reasoning, I’m glad it’s done and over, my life wasn’t changed or affected by it, and I will not be placing it on any of my literary faves lists.
Did not like.
Period.
Moving on now.