Dear Girls: Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice For Living Your Best Life by Ali Wong
(Format used for this read: Audiobook)
This book came thru from my library app at the VERY BEST time, yall.
This week has been one where my mental health has NOT been at it’s finest.
I’ve been stressed and anxious and frustrated and pissed off to the MAXXXXX.
All the school decisions and documents to look thru and life managing….I was at a LIMIT, yall.
I needed some FOR REALS laughs.
Like the kind that come from deep in your diaphragm, make your abs hurt and even get you to pee your pants just a teensy bit.
I’m gonna be honest with yall…..I had NO IDEA who Ali Wong was before I read this book. 😬
Okay…I DID vaguely know she was a comedian…but I had NEVER seen or heard a BIT of her work.
So why did I decide to read this?
Because a book club friend recommended it to me….and told me she thought I would totally like it and would totally love her.
And my book club girls are bomb and usually suggest pretty amazing ass things.
I *super* trust the gal who gave me the rec….ESPECIALLY because she hates scary things JUST AS MUCH AS ME and that is a BIIIIIG time deal and SUPER important when gauging someone’s taste in my opinion.
And she did NOT lead me astray….this book had me ROLLING!🤣
But you know what….it wasn’t JUST for giggles….she also warmed my heart with some pretty deep stuff too.
As soon as I’m done writing this review, I have to look up all the things Ali Wong on Netflix and add them to my queue.
But first…here is the official summary of the book:
“Ali Wong’s heartfelt and hilarious letters to her daughters (the two she put to work while they were still in utero) covering everything they need to know in life, like the unpleasant details of dating, how to be a working mom in a male-dominated profession, and how she trapped their dad.
In her hit Netflix comedy special, Baby Cobra, an eight-month pregnant Ali Wong resonated so strongly that she even became a popular Halloween costume. Wong told the world her remarkably unfiltered thoughts on marriage, sex, Asian culture, working women, and why you never see new mom comics on stage but you sure see plenty of new dads.
The sharp insights and humor are even more personal in this completely original collection. She shares the wisdom she’s learned from a life in comedy and reveals stories from her life off stage, including the brutal single life in New York (i.e. the inevitable confrontation with erectile dysfunction), reconnecting with her roots (and drinking snake blood) in Vietnam, tales of being a wild child growing up in San Francisco, and parenting war stories. Though addressed to her daughters, Ali Wong’s letters are absurdly funny, surprisingly moving, and enlightening (and gross) for all.”
If you are not familiar with Ali Wong’s comedy (like I was), I will warn you that she can be pretty vulgar and crass.
Ali writes this book as a letter to her two daughters….but she makes it quite clear from the get go that they are NOT to read it until they are grown.
PLENTY of profanity is used and there is PLENTY of straight up talk about her sex life, drug use, private parts, and bodily functions.
If books had ratings like movies do….this one would probably be in the R category.
Which doesn’t bother ME obviously😁…..the way she talks about it all I found HYSTERICAL (the way she kept describing her immense amount of pubic hair and pre-sex grooming habits had me DYING🤣) but if those type of things make you uncomfortable, I’d say you may want to find a different book to indulge in.
Ali is tremendously hilarious and spot on in how she discusses EVERRRYTHING.
What I really loved about this book is that she effortlessly goes from writing with pee your pants hilarity about being strangely attracted to King Tritan from Little Mermaid (“He looks like Santa with abs and a tail”) to the very next chapter or even next page writing with heart warming honesty about her experience with miscarriage and childbirth (“My dream of having four children was replaced by utter gratitude that I was able to get pregnant three times, and give birth to two beautiful girls, who exhaust me spiritually, financially, and emotionally.”)
I really loved just how direct and honest she was as she talks to her daughters about all life things…she is FRIGGIN’ FUNNY but she is also loving and transparent in how she talks about her lessons, triumphs and mistakes in education, work, relationships and family.
She also calls out racial, gender and cultural stereotypes and biases she and her loved ones have had to deal with over and over again in their lives.
She empowers her girls to speak up and speak out for themselves AND for others.
I loved that.
I gotta admit the parts I laughed at the most were when she talks about motherhood….pregnancy, giving birth, postpartum….because OMG she NAILS OUR REALITY in so many ways, mamas! (there is one story she tells about trying to go to the zoo on a family outing with a newborn…all goes to straight up HELL in every way possible and ends with a screaming match in the parking lot…have we just not all BEEN THERE?!?)
I think the two adjectives that best describe this book are FUNNY and HONEST.
AND her hubby writes his own letter to their girls at the very end and that REALLY pulled my heartstrings…I just love that she included his voice in here too.
To end this review I’ll leave yall with JUST a taste of her words…because you should go read the book:
“And then I threw up from all the anesthesia and my teeth were still chattering and they were telling me not to vomit so hard, otherwise my stitches would bust open. I said,’I don’t know how to vomit softly.’ That’s like telling someone to shit perfume.” (said after she had a c-section)
“I don’t use words like “facetious” or “effusive.” I use words like “doo-doo,” “caca,” and “punani.” Once I embraced that, these letters were an absolute pleasure to write.” (talking about how she was intimidated to write this book at first)
” I also understood why my mom wasn’t into processing her feelings, and how she was taught to just get over tragedy. To survive, she had to believe things like depression and allergies were a choice.” (on understanding as an adult the difficulties her Vietnamese mother had)
“Non-Asian men I dated loved to brag about how “down” with Asian cuisine they were. One actually said to me enthusiastically, “I eat kimchi!” In my head I was thinking, Bro, that is the staple of Korean cuisine. That’s like me bragging to white people that I can identify with them because I eat bread.” (discussing her frustrations when dating non-Asian men)
I forgot to mention…. She reads the audiobook herself which I think always adds so much life to the words….hearing the author deliver the words as she hears them in her head is amazing to me.