All My Knotted Up Life: A Memoir by Beth Moore
(Format used for this read: Audiobook)
An incredibly thoughtful, disarmingly funny, and intensely vulnerable glimpse into the life and ministry of a woman familiar to many but known by few.
“It’s a peculiar thing, this having lived long enough to take a good look back. We go from knowing each other better than we know ourselves to barely sure if we know each other at all, to precisely sure that we don’t. All my knotted-up life I’ve longed for the sanity and simplicity of knowing who’s good and who’s bad. I’ve wanted to know this about myself as much as anyone. This was not theological. It was strictly relational. God could do what he wanted with eternity. I was just trying to make it here in the meantime. As benevolent as he has been in a myriad of ways, God has remained aloof on this uncomplicated request.”―Beth Moore
All My Knotted-Up Life is a beautifully crafted portrait of resilience and survival, a poignant reminder of God’s enduring faithfulness, and proof positive that if we ever truly took the time to hear people’s full stories . . . we’d all walk around slack-jawed.
So…for someone who does not identify as a Christian anymore, you may be wondering why in the WORLD I read this memoir.
Here’s the thing….when I WAS all UP in Christianity as a cheerleader for Jesus, this woman right here was a HUGE GINORMOUS part of my faith education and encouragement.
I seriously can not even count how many of her bible studies I did–one of which I even led and taught MYSELF–or the conferences I sat in, completely enamored, listening to her speak.
I just ADORED her….and honestly, I still do.
Even though her and I do not share a faith anymore–and view LOTTTSSS of things VERRRYYY differently–I think I will always have a spot in my heart for her.
Beth Moore has always been honest, vulnerable, and hilarious to me.
She is a fantastic teacher–I loved her style–and an emotion filled writer who has a beautiful way with words that just get deep down into you–and her Southern accent just hits HOME for me, yall.
As expected, there is A LOT of talk about her Christian faith in this book–as it would OBVIOUSLY.
It is her self professed life’s mission to work for the Lord and it truly has been the centerpoint of her life for many, many years.
But what I appreciate is that she never speaks of her faith from a place of superiority or judgement. She just says what it means TO HER and HER denominational brothers and sisters…I didn’t get the feeling I was being “preached” at.
Which LORD KNOWS so so so so SO many of the big names in the industry do EVERY CHANCE THEY GET.
And I am DONNNEE with all that.
But this wasn’t a bible study book or a Christian self help book so she did not treat it as one.
This was just Beth’s life story thus far and all the “knotted up” pieces of it that make her who she is today and who she was in the past.
I’ll admit that some of her faith talk sounds completely ridiculous to me now…which is weird because a just a few short years back , I would have been nodding my head as I was reading, tearing up, throwing my hands up in the air and hollering all kinds of “AMEN.” LOL
But I respect people for feeling very strongly about their faith…I understand their convictions and honor that we have different views.
I was glad to hear Beth honestly speak about politics, patriarchy and racism in the church, the “Christian right” and her complicity in it for many years.
But she was also very up front about her CRITICSM of it all now
She shared about the tidal wave of mistreatment and awfulness she received from her fellow Christian brothers and sisters when she spoke out about her own disgust and disdain for Donald Trump, his presidency and all his followers during 2016.
The hate she received and the immense support she lost–even from leaders of her own denomination (ALL MEN OF COURSE)–was so far from the message of love they all SAY they believe in.
This did not surprise me ONE DAMN BIT because I have seen similar things happen to many other people.
All of this caused her own faith to change and evolve….and part of that was leaving her beloved denomination of Southern Baptist, which was a HUGE deal for her.
Again…not surprising to me.
Beth shared not only the ins and outs of her faith family life, but also her immediate family life too.
Hers was (and is) not one without secrets and drama and trauma, pretty much like most of us out there.
I strugged a WHOLE bunch hearing how she continued having her dad in her life and her kids lives even after he sexually and emotionally abused her and her siblings in their childhoods…especially because she never felt like he truly repented or changed as a person.
Every person is different with their forgiveness, and maybe she is just a bigger person with a bigger heart than I will ever be…but dang. That is hard for me to wrap my brain around.
I did enjoy reading this book—and I LOVED listening to it. One of the other things I always loved about Beth is that she is a TREMENDOUS story teller. Listening to her read her own story made this book even BETTER.
If you aren’t familiar with Beth Moore, then you probably wanna just skip this one.
But if you know her and love her and she has ever touched your life in some way….then you absolutely MUST go read this.
Beth has plenty of things about her life and her beliefs I don’t jive with anymore…but I appreciated hearing her story in it’s full, messy, beautiful detail.
I’ll always have love for her, I think.
And ‘ll always love me a Southern accent.